Let nothing disturb you...

"Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.” - St. Faustina

I was told once that when the Vatican is debating a claim of a person for sainthood, while reviewing the life of the person they intentionally look for suffering in the person's life

“True works of God always meet opposition and are marked by suffering.” - St. Faustina

To be honest, I've always been afraid of suffering for the sake of the kingdom - even though our world, nature itself, teaches us the redemptive nature of suffering. (Muscles must first rip and tear before they can be stronger; metal must first bend in the fire before it can become a sword or shield) But I was still afraid of suffering- would I be able to endure it? And is life worth living if you know that you'll be constantly suffering?


The other night, I was kept awake and could not sleep. I was so frightened. I thought the sunrise would never come soon enough. As I imagined enduring this fear, this suffering, my entire life, I felt myself beginning to despair. This was not the life I wanted to live, how could I endure living with the fear my whole life? 

And in the midst of my struggle, a surprising peace came over me and asked me, "Why do you endure this? What is your hope? What is your reason?" And my answer was immediate - Heaven.  My hope, my reason for living, for praying, for enduring, for it all, is heaven. To be united, wholly, fully to Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And as I meditated on the beauty of the promise of heaven, the love of the Father for me, his daughter - I was no longer in fear. And though I was still in the midst of the fight, I began to praise my God, and the battle was won.

I remembered Colleen McCarron's song. The words brought me comfort, and at last, I was able to sleep.

 "Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things pass away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things.He who has God Finds he lacks nothing; God alone suffices" - St, Teresa of Avila

Like God told Saint Paul, "For my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (Corinthians 12:9)

On Friday night, I got a glimpse of understanding. I realized that my fears regarding suffering were actually rooted in my rejection of God's will and the grace He desires to offer me. 

Because when I surrendered and embraced His will and embraced His grace -  though a battle was raging around me, I was not afraid.

For his grace was sufficient and His perfect love has cast out all fear.  

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