Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

Last Sunday I was going through my ritual prayer of 'handing over my suffering's to Christ' - meaning, it's when I reciting a list of everything that's uncomfortable in my life and saying, "Here, Jesus, please fix this." 


Except each time I do this, I can't help but have this lingering thought in the back of my mind that says, "Well do you really believe that Jesus is going to fix it ALL? What if he doesn't. What if He only helps you halfway. What if? And then, what are you going to do? What are you going to do if He decides NOT to step in and help?" 


These "What if" doubts keep me from fully handing over my sufferings and trusting in God's plan. But last week, as I was in mass God interrupted me and said, 

"Tori, give me your "What If"s "

And it occurred to me, God doesn't just want a list of our sufferings or desires. He wants our 'what if's' too. He wants us to have the faith to trust that He will provide for us. That we are wrapped and cloaked in His arms. That He has a plan that He has a path and that His will shall be done. 


Because are we really trusting Him when we are doubting if He'll answer our prayers? 


So now when I feel anxious or worried I ask myself: Where is your heart? Where is your conviction? Where is your faith? 


Because if you really believe in this gospel. 
If you really believe in its message. 
You would not only offer up your suffering to Christ, 
you would offer up your "What if"s too.

Then I tell myself: Don't even consider the possibility of God abandoning you. 
He won't abandon you. 

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."