To be anxious is selfishness

"Jesus, help me"

I repeated the prayer as the dew of a cold sweat began to appear on my pale face.

"Please, help."

I had just enjoyed an amazing, 3-week long mission trip to India, and while I thought I'd be journaling, giddy to get home or just processing the experience, I was on the airplane fighting off the pains of another anxiety attack.

It's always the same words lately. "You are nothing. Your ministry serves no one. You can't do this. What a joke you are." and each tine, I'm terrified. I sat down, deeper into my seat and something extraordinary happened.

The Spirit answered.

"To be anxious is selfishness"

I heard the voice again, "To be anxious is selfishness"

Understanding began to flow. Here I was, on an 8-hour international flight, suffering from my own selfishness. Literally sitting in it. And Jesus offered freedom, freedom that would only come if I laid down my selfish desires to be something, to make my dreams happen on my own, and to be esteemed by others. Freedom if I only stopped looking at myself and began to look at Him. To just seek Him.

Because really, Jesus never asked me to be successful or esteemed or any of that. Jesus has only asked for my obedience.

As we move through this Holy Week in preparation for Easter, ask yourself, "What am I anxious about? And How can I offer this to Christ?"

Though your mind may never tell you, you are good enough, you are wanted and you are loved.